You might be a redneck if...

(yes I admit it, I am a redneck)

1. You list tick removal as a skill on your resume.
2. You use an ironing board as a knick-knack shelf.
3. You think the Battle of the Bulge is an argument between your wife and mother.
4. You've ever had to turn your truck around because of a bridge clearance restrictions.
5. You've ever driven around looking for your porch roof after a bad storm.
6. Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
7. Your nicest towels say "Property of Motel 6."
8. You get your daily requirements of fiber from toothpicks.
9. The photo on your driver's license includes your dog.
10. You think the stock market has a fence around it.
11.You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
12.Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
13.Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
14.Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
15.You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
16.You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
17.Your home has more miles on it than your car.
18.Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
19.There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
20.You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
21.There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
22.Fewer than half of your cars run.
23.Your car has never had a full tank of gas.
24.Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
25.You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

Ok I admit it....I like redneck jokes...