Where we are
Supporting our work
The Current Thought
More Past Thoughts
Thoughts from Others
Psalm of the Pastor's Wife
10 Commandments of the Pastor's Wife
Feeding 15 on a Budget for 5
Prayer of the Pastor's Wife
A Word of Encouragement
Blessed is the Pastor's Wife
Ramblings of a Country Preacher's Wife
Words of Encouragement
Many times we as pastors wives are often neglected in the needs of
the church. We are the ones who are hurting and can't show it and often the ones who the
husbands can't see are hurting. We bear the brunt of the anger that is turned toward our
husbands because of something they have preached and we are expected to be perfect and
just smile all the time.
During the times that we do break down and cry our dear husbands (who are always very
concerned with the needs of the church but forget we are part of that church) will look at
us and say what's wrong? And then when we tell them they just adopt a look of oh its that
time of the month and blame it all on hormones.
How many times have we been on the edge of tears and we are treated as though it is
something we can handle? How many times have we wanted to yell at our husbands and
say, "wake up come out of your dream world everything isn't wonderful you know."?
I think we can all relate to that.
Now for a moment I want to direct your attention to the time that Moses spent upon the
mount. During that time he was unaware of what was happening below because he was in God's
presence. Below the children of Israel were going about their daily routines worrying bout
all the things people normally worry about. They were lost in their own little world of
cares even though they had a God who would deliver them and take care of them. They forgot
to look to their God to carry their burdens after a while and started looking to the world
around them. They turned to Aaron and asked him to make them a god, something they could
see, feel, touch. Something natural that they could relate to not something spiritual they
Aaron should have known better. But he gave in to the pressures of this world. He gave in
to the complaining going on around him. Aaron was concerned with keeping the people
content. Moses had left Aaron in charge down below while he went to commune with God.
Oftentimes that is the case of what happens with Pastors wives. Our husbands leave us to
handle the run of the mill stuff while they are busy with God's work. They have to attend
to the needs of their flock and they trust that us as their wives will take care of the
home front. They are so wrapped up in their own little world that they don't see when
things start to go wrong. We become unhappy because they are ignoring our needs and we
lose our joy. And the word tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength. If our
strength is weakened, it can allow Satan to get in easier. A critical spirit can come in
just like it did with the children of Israel. When Moses was gone longer than they thought
he should be, they started criticizing. Before you know it they had turned completely away
from God. Of course we don't usually let it get this far before we realize it, but it can
So the question becomes what do we do about it. How do we get our husbands to open their
eyes and realize that everything isn't as happy on the home front as it needs to be. How
do we get them to realize that we are as much a part of their congregation as the rest of
the flock and we need his attention too.
Unfortunately there aren't any easy answers. But we do have someone to take all those
cares too. When we are unhappy we can just go to the Father, lay them down, and refuse to
pick them back up. We can try and show our husbands the things we see in the church body
but we must also remember we are there to support him and help him. At times the only
thing we can do is pray. Pray for the church, pray for our husbands, pray for our families
and pray for ourselves. 2 Peter 5:7 says "Casting all your cares upon him for he careth for
you". That doesn't mean one thing but all things. Give him all your cares. I remember a
song from my childhood called Its me again Lord. The song said
"Its me again Lord, I got a prayer that needs an answer. Its me again Lord, I got a
problem I can't solve. Now I don't mean to worry you but here I am facing something new,
and I need help that only comes from you, its me again Lord. Now Lord I know you're busy
way up in heaven high, answering prayers and drying tear dimmed eyes, but Lord you said if
I'd just ask that I'd receive it so, here I am Lord asking one more time."
We sometimes feel that we don't need to bother the Lord with such trivial things but he
wants us to come to him with all things. He wants to be the first one we turn to not the
last resort when we can't handle it anymore. We need to put the Lord first in all things.
After all, he promised to bear our burdens for us. Herein lies the answers when we just
can't take any more of being ignored or made to feel small or had our feelings hurt or any
of the other 500 things that seem to happen to pastor's wives.
I know its not easy to be a pastors wife but it is truly a high calling. Only those who
have proven themselves to be faithful are put into such an office. Who else has so many
eyes upon their light watching to see if it goes out or even flickers. Because of your
position you can give light unto many that might not know how a wife is supposed to act
toward her husband. Be supportive and pray that God will open his eyes to the flock at
home that needs tending. Make time for you as a couple. Not just as a family but also one
on one with him as a couple. As long as your marriage is strong it makes it harder for
Satan to enter in. A cord of two wrapped and entwined is stronger than one or even two
that have come unraveled. Keep the cord of your marriage intact. Don't allow Satan to
steal your joy.
Have a blessed day.