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Ramblings From a Country Preacher's Wife
I sure never knew 20 years ago what I know now, and that still isnít knowing a lot. Itís a good thing God teaches us in a way and time that we can learn. So Iím sharing some of the things this old country pastorís wife has learned down through the years. So sit down and join me in a long ramble.
I was raised in a Christian home (evangelical free church, sort of a Swedish Baptist I guess) and at the age of 19 hit the world running. It took me till I was about 40 years old before I come to realize that I wasnít running the Christian race like I should have been all along and thank God Jesus let me come backÖ
You see, the Christian life of obligations that I had growing up didnít give me a personal relationship with Jesus. I was like a lot of pastorís and deaconís kids are, in the church but not always in the bride of Christ. I knew and did the right things, knew what to say, and really put on a really good front. A lot of church folks can do that but a personal walk with Jesus means it is between you and Jesus, not just doing what the church expects of you.
I had to learn from God that Iím not perfect and never will be till I get to heaven. I do know that Iím a work in progress and heís still working on me. There is no perfect pastorís wife. You can look and act the part, always say the right things but only God can help you and change you. Brother Lam and I used to have some real battles over things that happen in our church. I really had a problem with people professing be such holy and Godly people and then talk about others and treat folks like they do. As a pastorís wife I used to get my ears full of all the church junk and gossip. Since I really have a heart for people I had to learn the hard way that just because someone says they love Jesus, you canít trust them with information (even to ask for prayer). Most things folks tell you, you just need to take them to Jesus and not tell everyone around you (sometimes even your husband). Sometimes folks blab things to you thinking youíll run to the pastor to tell him all about it. That can come back and hurt you sometimes.
I have seen God do some awesome things but I have seen Godís people (supposed to be anyway) do some pretty awful things. The only advice I try giving to new Christians is: read your Bible, pray and talk to Jesus every day, ask him to show you what he wants in your life and whatís really him and whatís not. Older Christians need to pray about dealing with people so that what they say and do reflects Jesus and not their personal opinions. We all need to ask God for wisdom. I have a comment for years that says ďChristians are the only folks I know that kill their wounded.Ē No matter what I do, I can never be righteous enough to earns Godís love for me. It is a gift that was freely given.
Being a pastorís wife you have to be very careful to always treat him with respect. You may have your opinions and you may be right about your thoughts but just be careful around others. You can get a Jezebel spirit (wanting to be the leader over your husband and his ďterritoryĒ so to speak) if you're not very careful. There are some things that you need to handle but first pray and ask for Godís wisdom. I'm like a momma tiger in the church, itís up to me to pray for them and help them and protect them until they can learn to protect themselves. I have to take care of them in loving and compassionate ways. If you keep asking God for wisdom, he'll let you know when to help and when to step back and let god do what he wants.
Bro Lam used to make me cry all the time. I was really stupid about Pentecostal ways and he would just throw a fit when I asked questions. Many years ago we were in a church where he had been known for many years and he just started showing off and had me in tearsÖI went to the back of the church and just tried to keep my mouth shut. Then God sent this little old pastorís wife back to find me and see if I was ok. Of course I was not ok, I wanted to slap him silly but for his prideís sake I didn't. She asked me if I was ok and I said ď No ma'am I'm not but I'm trying to not bother other folks. I guess I don't understand how a man can say he has so much power from God and treat his wife so bad, heís just being a big fannieĒ She snickered a little and then I apologized for it. She said, ďyou have to remember, they aren't under an anointing 24 hours a day. They are just men like the rest of them without the anointing. You also have to remember these Kentucky men are very proudĒ I laughed and said ď Are you sure its not just being bullheaded?Ē
She guided me and prayed with me and for me. She had to remind me from time to time that every man was different with different jobs to do and different anointings. He may be the head but I'm the neck so I must be strong and be a helpmate, not a pain in the neck. Remember the neck must be strong to support the head so it can do what is needed.
All I really know is that God is my father and her knows my name. He sees every tear I shed and every time I laugh itís a gift from him. Being a pastorís wife isn't all fun and games, but having Jesus in my life is joy. Even in the bad times he is there with me. So the best advice I could give to any pastorís wife both old and young is this:
Have God lead you in everything. Men fail you but God never fails.
I hope this has been a blessing and you have taken at least a little grain from it to help you. God bless
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